


How to Drown

by CybeleEvelysse



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Past Character Death, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27600016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CybeleEvelysse/pseuds/CybeleEvelysse
Summary: "You're not having second thoughts, are you?""Of course not."A story that takes an in depth look into Goro's character and what it means to be manipulated, with an emphasis on his commonalities with Sumire. GoroxSumire romantic pairing.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Shido Masayoshi, Akechi Goro/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26
Collections: Marigolds Discord Recs





	How to Drown

The afternoon sunlight streams in through the window, enveloping the room in a fiery orange glow. It touches every single object, bookshelves, the artificial plant that sits in the corner, - because of course he didn't want to have to care for a real plant, he didn't want to care for his child either - the mahogany desk...It shines through the bottles that sit on the glass liquor shelves, proudly displayed as if having a wide selection of alcohol is some sort of achievement. 

The only thing that the light does not touch is the man that sits before him, his tall black leather seat blocking it, as if to prove that no light _could_ ever touch him. His heart is filled with nothing but endless water, water that pooled from the tears of those he had hurt to get where he is now. It now forms an ocean that drowns any who try to go near him, regardless of their intentions. Allies and foes alike would succumb to the cold waters, and they would never know it was happening until their lungs were filled with it, preventing them from ever breathing again.

A child, Goro is just a child. 15 years old. He doesn't realize he's wading in the shallow end, doesn't realize that he's about to be pulled under. He thinks he's in control, he thinks that he will finally avenge his mother, whose tears helped form the very waters that would one day drown him. He thinks so many things, and all of them are wrong, so horribly wrong, but no one cares enough to tell him, to help him, to guide him.

Shido slides a folder across the desk toward Goro, and he opens it to see a photo of the woman who would become his first victim. "This is who you want me to kill?" Goro asks as he stares at the man sitting across from him. His hands are placed beneath his chin, elbows resting on his desk, gold tinted glasses hiding the fact that his eyes are the same color as Goro's. It's a fact that Goro notices straight away, but one that Shido doesn't care enough to pay attention to. The only thing saving Goro from having to look at his eyes like they're mirrors of his own are those stupid, ugly ass glasses.  
"Is there a problem with that?" Shido asks, the condescension in his voice used to mock Goro for the obvious discomfort in his expression.  
"She's...just a researcher, and a mother," Goro replies hesitantly. Is this really what he's signed up for? When he chose this path, he assumed he'd be dealing with Shido's competitors, people with questionable morals that were likely just as evil as Shido himself was, not an innocent woman.  
"She'll be an easy target for you. A good test run to show me what you're capable of," Shido states, but Goro doesn't need an easy target. He's spent months training himself on fighting shadows, preparing for the task that he's chosen to take on.  
"I don't need an easy target," Goro responds. This isn't what he signed up for, this isn't something he wants to do.  
"You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

_Are you having second thoughts?_

Goro shakes his head. "Of course not." Deeper into the water he goes. It's at his knees now, and he doesn't even feel it.

_Is this really what you want to do?_

"Good. That bitch will pay for withholding her research from me. Now be a good boy and take care of this for me." He speaks as if he's a father telling his son to be obedient, and he is, but Goro swears that he doesn't know that. 

_He doesn't know that...right?_

Wakaba Isshiki was truly innocent of all crimes. When Goro finally finds her shadow in Mementos, it's in the prison, without any distorted desires. He takes aim, his hand shaking so much that the gun rattles, and she does nothing to deter him from pulling the trigger. Her shadow does not beg for her life, for she expected this. After all, she's been drowning for a long time now. There is no hope of swimming back to shore any longer. 

_The world didn't care about your mother. Why should you care about hers? Just pull the trigger and get it over with._

Goro pulls the trigger, and all at once he's fully submerged in the ocean, the icy cold enveloping his heart, freezing it to prevent him from feeling.

Good boy, Shido says, but Goro doesn't feel good. He doesn't feel anything at all. Just emptiness.

\----------------------------------

The room is small, like a box. Every time Goro does this, the rooms get smaller and smaller, slowly closing in on him. There aren't any windows, so there's no hope of escaping through one. The only light in the room comes from the artificial lights on the cold gray walls, and the way that it hits his dear friend's face as he stares at him makes him look even more sallow and unhealthy, if that is even possible. Beaten within an inch of his life, cuts and bruises all over him, the world is truly barbaric.

_It's alright, you'll be quick. He won't suffer at your hands._

"I'm here to rescue you," Goro begins, and Akira looks hopeful for a moment. Perhaps he is wrong, perhaps Goro is his friend after all, perhaps he isn't going to- "That's what you were hoping I'd say, wasn't it?" He shoots the guard without any hesitation, and Akira's eyes widen in shock.

_Justify it by saying that it's his fault, by saying that he shouldn't have gotten in your father's way. He's just a casualty of war, nothing more._

Goro aims the gun at Akira, pressing it against his forehead. "Everything you stand for will die in this concrete room. This is where your justice ends."

_"Be a good boy and take care of this for me."_

The words echo in Goro's mind, and he begins to laugh. He laughs at the absurdity of it all, he laughs at the idea that Shido thinks he's a good boy, he laughs at the idea that a good boy is someone who kills others on command. He laughs at the fact that the one person who tried to be his friend, who tried to understand him, is the last person who should have. He laughs at the fact that he has a gun pointed at his friend, no, his rival's head.

_He isn't your friend. You don't have friends. No one will ever love you, so you might as well be the monster that they all believe you are. At least then you can justify their reasoning for hating you._

Bonds, justice, friendship, what a fucking joke. The world continually plays cruel tricks on him over and over, then it laughs at him as if he deserves the misery. The only thing that he can do anymore is laugh along with it, even if the only reason he does so is to avoid crying.

Sinking further and further, so far down into the depths that the sunlight isn't even visible to his eyes anymore, Goro laughs to hide the fact that he's choking on water, and he pulls the trigger. He watches as Akira's blood pools on the floor, forming a puddle beneath his head. 

_Blood is thicker than water, after all. Perhaps his blood will be the thing that finally drowns you in the end. Isn't that what you're hoping for?_

\--------------------------------

He's like a sewer rat, hiding beneath the surface, waiting for just the right moment to crawl back out and show his disease ridden body to the world again. His teammates all lick his wounds, infecting themselves, all of them plagued by the same disgusting disease.

They call it friendship, but really they're all just surrounding themselves with parasites that eat away at their sanity. They act like morons, complete and utter morons, and throw themselves into harm's way all for the sake of protecting their ' _friend_ '. It's stupid, it's all so stupid that it makes Goro want to laugh, and he would, if he weren't so busy screaming instead. 

His voice resounds against the walls of the engine room, metal bouncing it back at him as if to mock him. _This is what you sound like, you pathetic child_ , he imagines it saying.

_"Be a good boy and take care of this for me."_

Again the words spring forth in his mind as he takes blow after blow. It isn't fair, none of it is fair, they all support each other and take turns, while he's forced to endure all of it without any rest. He can do this, he's done this so many times before, he's strong, powerful. They won't best him, they can't, they...

Goro denies it until the moment that they do. In the end, pushing everyone away proved to be his downfall, not his strength as he once believed it to be. What was he meant to do though? Even if he had reached out, even if he had cried out for help, no one would have answered him.

The bottom of the ocean is cold, so very cold, but at least he isn't sinking anymore. It's too late, he'll never make it back to the surface now, but perhaps he can prevent them from being dragged down with him. Goro aims his gun once more, and shoots the control panel for the bulkhead door, sealing his fate.

" _Then maybe someone will love you_." 

Goro chuckles. What a pathetic attempt at manipulating him. He knows full well by now, no one will ever love him no matter what he does, and his acceptance of it makes him feel as if he's finally set himself free. 

_If there's nothing you can do, then why do anything at all? There's no way out. All that's left is for you to let go of the final tiny bubbles of oxygen that still remain in your lungs, then you can go. Maybe hell will be kinder to you than this shitty world was._

\---------------------------------

Goro opens his eyes. Why the fuck is he able to open his eyes? The sight before him is familiar, it's the ceiling of his apartment, the one that he would awaken to every morning while lying in bed, but why is he here? His hands move to his chest as he pats down his body, searching for the gunshot wound that isn't there. 

Is this hell? Was his life so terrible that even hell decided to say _fuck it, just put him back and that'll be enough misery for him to pay for his sins_? He slides off the bed, and moves to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror.

Goro's reflection is exactly what he expected to see. Perfect silky hair, flawless skin, thin toned frame, this is the body that he worked so hard to mold into the prince that he wanted the world to view him as. The more that he looks at it, however, the more he hates it. All he can do is stare into his own eyes, the eyes that match Shido's, and he wants to rip them out of his skull just so that he never has to look into them again.

_You did this to yourself. Child or no, you still made the decision. You approached him, and offered yourself up as if you were nothing more than a weapon, a tool for him to use. You only have yourself to blame._

He reaches his hand up and touches the mirror, leaning in closer to stare at the monster that hides beneath the mask of the prince. When he finally finds him in the iris of his eyes, his rage boils over, and he smashes his hand into the mirror. The shattered pieces ripple outward from the impact, and the shards slice into his soft, delicate skin. It should be thicker by now, but it isn't, it might have even gotten thinner.

"Why am I alive?! I wanted to fucking die. I was ready!" Goro screams as tears roll down his cheeks. "I don't want to be in this shitty world anymore. I'd rather not exist at all. Why do I even exist?! I've been nothing but a curse to everyone around me. No one has ever wanted me. So _why_?! Why am I being forced to continue?!"

The blood from his hand drips down into the sink, his other hand used to prop himself up. As he watches the droplets fall, watery tears mixing with the blood and causing it to feather and run down toward the drain, he notices something. His hand, the one propping him up, it's gloved. _Of course_ , that's why he's bleeding, he only has one glove on. There was nothing protecting the hand that crashed into the mirror. 

_You made him a promise. Aren't you going to keep it?_

Goro opens the medicine cabinet, and bandages up his hand. If nothing else, he is a man of his word. He'll assist Akira with whatever he needs, and when he's done, perhaps then he'll be able to rest.

\-----------------------------

Blood. Her hair looks like blood. The thought occurs to Goro as he watches her wrist twist and turn with the movement of her sword. Thin and pointy, just like his. Her movements are elegant when she takes down her enemies, and her hair swirls around her just like the ribbon that ties it back. No one has ever made killing look so beautiful to him before.

_What a beautiful princess. Don't you wish that you really were the prince? What a perfect match they would be. It's such a shame that isn't really you._

Her eyes look like glass when she realizes the truth of who she really is, lonely girl hidden beneath the mask of a princess. The truth is in her irises, in the color of them, the blood cannot be found on her hands, only there, in her eyes can it be seen. She isn't a princess, she never was. The glass shatters, and the shards fall down her face. The slippers don't fit, for they have never been hers to wear, and they fall off of her feet just like the ribbon that once tied her hair back.

_Maybe you're more alike than you thought._

For someone who claims to be so kind, Maruki certainly has an affinity for taking hostages. He clings onto her fragile body, claiming that he will mend her mind, claiming that the only way for her to exist is to wear the shoes of a dead princess. The idea of it sickens Goro. Maruki manipulates others to fulfill his own fantasy, pulling their strings like puppets to play out the fairytale story that he wishes that he could have, complete with the happily ever after. 

_"Be a good boy and take care of this for me."_

Maruki expects Goro to solidify Akira's resolve to stay in his little fairytale world, but Goro knows that there is no happily ever after, there is only reality, cold harsh reality. He isn't alive, living happily in the sunlight surrounded by friends, he's sitting in darkness at the bottom of the ocean, cold and dead and alone. He learned how to hold his breath at fifteen years old, but after three years of drowning, he has no oxygen left. 

_Is that where you would rather be?_

Goro refuses to be a hostage, he refuses to be a puppet. The very purpose of having a persona is to rebel, and rebel he would. He slices through the strings with the blade of his serrated sword, stopping them from ever being pulled again. Attachments, he would never have any attachments. Love and friendship, it's all just a waste of time. 

_A waste of time, just like your life._

His actions give her the courage to slice through her own puppet strings, releasing herself from the starring role of Maruki's little fairytale. 

There are no princes or princesses in this world, no heroes, just a group of criminals stealing things that don't belong to them. 

_Your life isn't a prize to be stolen. It's worthless, and it's time he saw that._

The look on Akira's face when Goro states that his life is trivial confuses him. He watches as water begins to flood his eyes, threatening to overflow, and the very thought of him crying terrifies Goro. He's already drowned once in the tears of his mother, in the depths of the ocean of his father's wretched heart, in the blood of a false version of someone that he should call his friend but instead refers to as his rival, he cannot do it again. He cannot let himself feel the endless, burning desire for love and acceptance that he does not deserve, even if Akira offers to give it to him on a silver platter.

_You just want him to let you be dead._

\----------------------------------

Awake again. Why is he awake? Goro should be dead. They finished things, they erased the false reality, the fake fairytale. Why in the fuck is he still here? 

_Your life isn't trivial, that's what he told you. Did he wish for this?_

Over and over, Goro searches for the answers to his questions. He tries to turn himself in, but no one will listen to him, as if there is some cosmic power preventing them from even hearing the words that he speaks. They dismiss him as quickly as they can, and no matter how many times he returns, the result is always the same. 

_Haven't you suffered enough?_

All that Goro is left with is mundane, normal life. There is no one left to use him, no one left to rebel against. He has no plans, he has no purpose, he just exists, waiting for a reason to find him. 

His reason comes along soon enough, in the form of a pretty dancer, whose delicate feet dance in the blood of her sister. Her movements stagger, unsteady as she's only wearing one glass slipper. Somewhere along the way she lost the other one, and now she can't find it again. 

As he watches her perform, he thinks that perhaps if there is no way for him to pay for his sins, then maybe he can do a good deed instead. It would never erase them, but at least it would not add to them.

_Don't forget, you're not a real prince. Even if she is meant to be a princess, title bestowed upon her through the love of her prince, you are not capable of being the one to give it to her._

Gradually, Goro begins to spend more and more time with her. His intention is to build her confidence, to make her realize that she is different from him, that she is worthy of happiness. They may have both worn the masks of royalty, but the difference between them is that underneath hers there is still a princess, it just isn't the princess that she wanted to be. 

_Sleeping beauty returns to her slumber, and Cinderella thinks she's finally found her prince, but you know that she's wrong._

Time passes by, and the months turn into years. It shouldn't surprise him when she says that she loves him, but still it does, and all he can think is this isn't what he wants. He doesn't want her to be in love with him. 

He thinks this even as he kisses her, even as he holds her in his arms, even as he sleeps with her, making love to her though he would only ever refer to it as having sex. It's just semantics, but somehow Goro thinks that changing the wording means that he doesn't have the feelings that are attached to the words that he refuses to use. 

_If you love her, then why won't you say it?_

Goro doesn't even know the answer to that question himself, he only knows that he can't, that he won't, that he never will. It isn't until the day that sweet, compassionate, kind Sumire makes a silly joke that he realizes the reason.

"I am not going to wear that," Goro states with a slight chuckle as Sumire holds up the most ridiculous looking hat in the shop. She has such terrible taste in fashion that it's laughable to him.  
"Oh, come on, I want to see what it looks like on you! Just be a good boy and try it on for me, pretty please?" She begs, and that's when it clicks.

_"Be a good boy and take care of this for me."_

All at once, Goro's past crashes down on him, crushing his heart beneath the weight of it. He's doing it again, he's letting someone else influence his actions. "Don't ever fucking say that to me again." His anger startles Sumire, and she doesn't understand.  
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it," She apologizes, terrified by the idea that she could have hurt him in some way. She doesn't want to hurt him, not ever, and he recognizes this, but it doesn't change the way that he feels.  
"It's fine. I'm just tired. I think I'm going to call it a day," He responds. He isn't tired, he just doesn't want to be there anymore.  
"Okay. You want me to bring by dinner later?" She offers, and he just shakes his head. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes just how much he's been relying on her to fulfill his needs, and he hates it.  
"No. I'll just get takeout tonight." He wants his independence back.

_All you want is to be loved, but if you let yourself love her back, you'll be vulnerable, easily manipulated. That's why you can't say it, why you'll never say it._

One by one, he begins to untie the ribbons that she carefully wrapped around him, taking care to be gentle rather than slicing them all in one go like he did with the puppet strings. She never had ill intentions, she never pulled them, but even so, he can't stand being bound by them anymore. 

_She deserves a prince, someone who will love her without any hesitation. Just because you are able to see her light from your watery grave does not mean that it is meant for you._

Goro starts with his reliance on her for his meals. He can't cook, he's never been able to cook, and no amount of teaching could ever solve that. That was why she started bringing him meals, even if she only had enough time to just drop them by without staying. 

Over and over she offers to bring him food, and over and over he turns her down. She wonders if she did something wrong to make him dislike her cooking, but she doesn't address it. 

_You miss her cooking, don't you?_

The next ribbon that he unties is the one that is related to his reliance on her for fun. Gradually, he begins turning down her offers to go places with him. No more darts, no more pool, no more tycoon, no more Jazz Jin, no more bouldering, no more visits to the aquarium or the shops. He'll do all of it alone from now on, just like he used to.

_You miss her laugh, don't you?_

There are so many knots in the next ribbon, and undoing every single one takes a lot of time, but still, Goro does not stop. Slowly, he stops attending her performances. Sometimes he tells her that he has another commitment, but others he just says that he isn't going without providing any reason. He knows that she's hurt by this. His presence has always been so important to her, but he can't keep supporting her this way. It's another form of manipulation, of forcing him to do something that he wouldn't normally do, and he won't do it anymore.

_You miss seeing her dance, don't you?_

The last ribbon is the worst one. It's wrapped around his heart, looped around so many times that he isn't even sure where it ends, and it physically hurts for him to remove it. It's his reliance on her to fulfill his need for physical touch, for love, the need that he suppressed for so long that he used to not even remember that it was there at all. Now, as he lies alone in his bed, it's all he can even think about. He slowly tried to wean himself off of her, but it made no difference in the end.

_You miss her love, don't you?_

It's been weeks since she's been in his bed with him, and his longing for her to hold him hurts so bad that he's curled up into a ball silently sobbing over it. Nothing about any of this is okay. What has she done to him? Why has he gone so soft, so weak, to be crying over something so ridiculous as a need for her to touch him?

A knock, Goro hears a knock on the door then. "Goro?" It's Sumire's voice, calling out to him. What used to be the sweetest sound in the world to him now sounds like nails on a chalkboard. The sharp tips dig into his heart, clawing it to shreds.

_You miss her, don't you?_

Goro doesn't answer, so she knocks again. "Please, Goro, I know you're in there. Why won't you talk to me?" All she wants is answers, all she wants is to know what she's done wrong. 

_Don't you want to talk to her?_

Still no answer, and she does not give up. Another knock. "I brought you dinner. It's your favorite." Hasn't she learned yet? He doesn't want to rely on her for anything anymore, let alone food. He even resents her a little for it, because now nothing else tastes good to him. Has he lost a little weight? He thinks he might have. There just isn't anything that he wants to eat anymore.

_Is this really what you want to do?_

Sumire doesn't knock again. She realizes that she won't be let in, so she just starts talking, hoping that Goro will be able to hear her. "I don't know what I did to make you act this way, but whatever it was, I'm so sorry. If you just tell me, I promise I won't do it again. I..." She places her hand on the door, fingers bent so her short, chipped nails - painted blue because it's his favorite color, chipped because she doesn't care to maintain them when he refuses to see her - tap on the wood. Tears well up in her eyes, and they begin to roll down her cheeks, his worst fears becoming reality.

_So much for your good deed. All you've done is hurt her more, as if you needed the ocean to get any deeper._

"I know that you don't like to hear it. I know that you don't want me to say it, but I want to be honest with you. I love you, Goro. I love you. Please, just open the door. We can start over. I just want everything to be okay. I want to hear your voice again. Please," Her voice is unstable and breathy from her sobs, and it sounds wrong in so many ways to his ears.

_Those words, you said them once too, didn't you? When you were a child and you found your mother in the bathtub, water the same color as the ribbon in Sumire's hair. You spoke those same words to her. "Please, just wake up. I just want everything to be okay. I want to hear your voice again. Please!"_

Goro can't stand to listen to her anymore. He just wants her to leave, to go away and never come back. "Just fucking go away already! I don't want your love!" He screams, hoping that she can't hear that he's crying at the same time. Pathetic, he's nothing but a weak, pathetic shell of a man. 

Silence. Goro assumes she must have left. Good riddance, he thinks. Eventually sleep takes him, and all he dreams about is her pretty heart shaped face, and the way that she looks when she walks away from him, toward the afternoon sun that envelopes everything in a fiery orange glow. 

Everything...except for him. The light cannot touch him. 

Goro wakes up, because unfortunately he always does somehow, and he finds that he's hungry, so he rolls out of bed and gets ready to leave. When he opens his apartment door to walk out, he nearly trips over something. Confused, he looks down, and sees Sumire lying on the floor. Had she slept there all night?

_You slept there all night by the tub, waiting, wishing for a miracle that would never happen. Why was his wish granted, and not yours? You would have gladly traded your life for hers in a heartbeat._

He watches as she sits up and begins rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and he lets out an exasperated sigh. "Sumire...you should never let anyone have this kind of power over you," Goro states, giving her advice as if he knows what he's talking about at all. The truth is, he doesn't understand how the very thing that he's been rejecting this entire time works.

Sumire looks up at him, glossy crimson eyes that she hates staring into the brown eyes that he hates, and offers up a weak smile. "I trust you," She says, and Goro can't stop himself from laughing. She trusts _him_ of all fucking people?  
"Do you even realize who you're speaking to right now?" He asks as she gets to her feet. She still has to look up to see his face, but at least she doesn't need to crane her neck anymore to do so.  
"I'm speaking to Goro Akechi, the man that I love," Sumire replies confidently, but it only makes him laugh more. He laughs at the absurdity of it, he laughs at the fact that she's actually crazy enough to believe her own words.  
"Are you really so desperate for affection that you would seek to find it in me of all people?" He laughs at the fact that she reminds him so much of himself, and the way that he once was.  
"Are you trying to mock me, Goro?" Sumire asks, hurt by his constant laughter and condescending tone. What is wrong with him? He's acting like...  
"Why shouldn't I? Look at you. You spent the entire night sleeping on the dirty floor of an apartment complex, waiting like a sad, pathetic, lovesick puppy for me to open the door and find you. Don't you see what these feelings of yours have done to you?" 

_"You want to be acknowledged. You want to be loved. Sorry to say, you're the one who's become the puppet."_

"I just want to be with you. Is that really so wrong?" Sumire questions, and Goro stifles another laugh. This entire conversation is ridiculous to him. Is it even real anymore at this point?  
"Yes, actually, it is. I'm not even your boyfriend. I never was," He replies, always refusing to accept the title only because he believes that taking it would grant her some sort of control over him. He won't be controlled, not ever again. It doesn't matter that he acted like her boyfriend, it doesn't matter that the world perceived him that way, all that matters is that he does not perceive himself that way.  
"What are you then?" She asks, and Goro thinks for a moment before responding.  
"A friend, perhaps." It isn't the right word, and he knows that, but he isn't sure what other word to use to define their relationship that _isn't_ boyfriend. He isn't her boyfriend, he isn't, he isn't...

_Are you having second thoughts?_

"Friends don't hold hands everywhere they go together. Friends don't kiss each other at the movie theater, they don't snuggle up under a blanket together on the sofa. Friends don't have sex with each other and then spend the rest of the night cuddling." Sumire rattles off all of the things that Goro hates that he needs as if to prove just how weak and vulnerable he truly is before her.  
"What is your end goal with all of this? What is it that you want from me?" To him, love has become just another word for manipulation, a way to dress it up with flowery prose and pretty masks. He used to be so blind to that fact, but he sees it now. He saw it that day in the engine room, the day when his cognitive self tried to dangle it on a string before him just out of reach, only to taunt him.

_Call yourself a prince and accept your place beneath the king, maybe then your subjects will be loyal to you. "Be a good boy and take care of this for me."_

"I don't want anything from you. I only want to be with you, that's all. It...hurts too much to be separated from you. I'd give anything to have you read to me until I fall asleep again, to have you beat me at every game imaginable just to see you smile. To hear you laugh not because you want to avoid feeling, but because what you're feeling is happiness." Does he feel happiness when he's with her? Or is it another trick? Another cruel joke? Does it even matter at all? 

_Don't forget, you're not a real prince. You're a crow, a symbol of darkness. You would just snuff out her light if you stayed with her, just like you did with your mother._

Goro's hand reaches up, and gently, he places it beneath her chin to point her wandering nervous gaze back in his direction. "Listen to me. One day, you will find someone who is actually right for you, and you will love him so much that you will completely forget that you ever cared for me in that way. That person will be able to love you without any hesitation, he'll wear the label of your boyfriend as if it were a badge of honor. He won't be like me. He won't..." Goro trails off, unable to speak the words. Vulnerable, he can't let himself be vulnerable.  
"I don't want anyone else. I want you. Just please, tell me what you're so afraid of. I promise we can work through it. You've proven to me over and over again that all you need to do is have the dedication to see your hard work through, and that if you just have that, then anything can be overcome." Sumire's soft assurances, spoken with her fairy floss voice, is everything that he wants to hear. She sees him, she knows him, she understands him. Not many do, but she does. 

_"I don't need an easy target."_

And Goro hates it. He hates that she can see him, he hates that she can understand him. The more that she knows, the easier it is for her to tug at the ribbons, to bend him to her every whim as if he were nothing more than her puppet. He thought he had untied them, but she keeps wrapping more and more of them on him, binding his wrists and his ankles, preventing him from leaving her. 

"I'm not afraid of anything," Goro answers with a lie.  
"If you're not afraid of anything, then tell me why you're pushing me away. Do you just not want me anymore? ...Did you ever want me at all? I always thought that you did. I always thought that you just couldn't say it, but if you don't...then what do you want?" Sumire asks and her voice shakes with fear, terrified of the answer that he will give. She doesn't want to hear his voice say that he doesn't want her.  
"Freedom," Goro answers without any hesitation, without any need to think about it more. Freedom, that's all he wants, that's all he will ever want. Never again will he don the mask of the prince. Never again will he live his life under the thumb of another. Never again will he let his desire for love and acknowledgement destroy him. 

Sumire's reaction isn't what he expects. She smiles at him, softly, and says, "Me too." Never again will she let someone else take control of her own fairytale. Never again will she lose herself over her desire for love and acknowledgement. Never again will she don the mask of sleeping beauty. She is Cinderella, and now that he's found her other glass slipper for her, she can wear them with pride. They're the perfect fit after all, just like him.  
"Then why are you here? Look at what I've done to you. I've stripped you of your pride, your dignity, and for what? For some pathetic hope that maybe I will change my mind and love you in the end?" Goro questions, and still, she does not buckle under the pressure. She's stronger, she can take it now that she's finally able to stand on her own two feet without losing her balance.  
"You didn't do anything to me. I chose to come here, and I chose to stay here overnight all on my own. I'm responsible for the choices I've made, not you or anyone else, and I'm not ashamed of them either. Even if you don't ever say that you love me, it's okay. Not every story needs to end with happily ever after for it to be worth reading."

_Just because you are able to see her light from your watery grave does not mean that it is meant for you._

"Happily ever after is nothing more than a childish belief that a single moment of happiness will last forever. It doesn't, and it won't. Everything ends, including this," Goro states coldly, pain concealed by an impossible apathy only made possible by his desperate desire to not allow her to see it.  
"Is that really what you want?" Sumire asks, sadness beginning to creep in.

_"You're not having second thoughts, are you?"_ _  
__"Of course not."_

"Of course it is," He replies, as if there are no doubts in his mind, as if he's certain of himself.  
"Then I guess this is goodbye," She assumes.  
"It has to be," He affirms.  
"I really do love you, you know. I wish that things could be different," Sumire confesses, even though she knows that it won't change his mind.  
"But they aren't. I won't change who I am for you," Goro states.  
"And I don't want you to. You can't change for me, you have to want to do it for yourself, and it's okay if you don't." Sumire shifts on to her tiptoes then, and kisses his lips gently. "Goodbye, Goro." Then she turns and begins to walk away, through the straight hallway that leads to the elevator. 

_Do you understand now? Ribbons are not the same as puppet strings. She can pull you up into the light, if only you let her. You've learned how to drown, but do you remember how to breathe?_

Blood, her hair looks like blood. The thought reoccurs to Goro as he watches her walk away. He once thought that it was the blood of her sister, but now he realizes that it's her own blood, her own pain that she wears tied back into a pretty ribbon to keep it from staining her crystalline skin. It's as thin and as fragile as his, and he remembers the exact shade of violet that her veins appear to be through it, shown to him whenever she would reach for his hand to hold in hers. 

_Are you having second thoughts?_ _  
__"Yes, I'm having second thoughts."_ _  
__But you never doubted yourself before. Why now?_  
_"Because she makes me question all of my beliefs. She always has, just like that day at the cafe. I think maybe...I've been wrong."_ _  
__Then you know what you need to do._

"Sumire, wait! Don't go," Goro calls out to her as he steps into the center of the hallway, and she spins around to face him. The morning sun streams in through the large window behind him, enveloping everything in the room in a serene golden light. It shines through his pale brown hair, the hair that is the same shade as his mother's once was, and illuminates it in a heavenly glow. 

"I love you," Goro's voice sounds clear as he speaks those words, clearer than it has been in years. _Breathe_ , he can finally breathe. Sumire's perfect heart shaped lips curve into a sweet smile in response, every feature of her beautiful face proof that she is the embodiment of pure love. 

_Her light is meant for you._

Sumire runs to Goro without any hesitation, back through the hallway and straight into his arms. Her embrace feels like home to him, safe and warm and comforting. After a moment, he pulls back a bit to lean down and press his lips against hers, and as he does so, air flows through his lungs once more. Is this what it's like to be alive? He hasn't felt this way in so long...

They pull apart after a while, and look into each other's eyes. Her gaze is so loving and filled with so much adoration for him that he forgets that his eyes are the same as Shido's. She doesn't see his father when she looks at him, she just sees him, exactly as he is, and he sees her. She doesn't wish for him to see her sister anymore, for it isn't her that he's fallen in love with. It's Sumire, and from now on, he'll proudly call himself her boyfriend.

_Love isn't manipulation. Love is kindness, compassion, and understanding. Love doesn't force you to do anything. Your choices are and always will be your own._

The sand feels warm against his skin as he lies beside Sumire with his hand placed in hers, their fingers interlaced like ribbons. She's done it, she's brought him back to shore, and now he'll never have to experience the cold darkness of the depths again. 


End file.
